Thursday morning I had my much-dreaded stress test. I don’t like when I don’t really know what to expect, so I was quite anxious as Gary and I made our way to Deaconess Heart Hospital. Let’s preface the story with a video featuring my favorite comedian, Leanne Morgan:

All sense of modesty was definitely out the window during this test. I was teetering between Leanne’s “I don’t care” attitude and humiliation. I knew I would have electrodes attached to me as I walked and ran on a treadmill, but I thought I’d at least be able to keep a sport bra on. Nope. I even wore a pretty new one! Too bad. I had to be naked from the waist up. The tech attached about ten electrodes and a had a blood pressure cuff. I was able to wear a hospital gown — open in the front, of course.

Once I was partially naked and hooked up, the tech began the echo, which is just an ultrasound of the heart and surrounding blood vessels. It took about 30 minutes; she scanned and measured everything. After about ten minutes, she told me I’d need an IV medication that would make her pictures more clear. Just something else dangling from me. When she finished the echo, we had to wait a few minutes for the cardiologist to arrive. One risk of this test is having a heart attack in the middle of it, so a doctor has to be present. Don’t worry; she assured me they had never had this happen.

The next step was the treadmill. I had to get on the treadmill with all of that apparatus hanging from me, front mostly exposed, and walk, and then run. It was the one time in my life I was grateful to be flat-chested! I cannot imagine a well-endowed woman doing this test. Of course, a couple of the electrodes were not working correctly, so then I had a tech on each side adjusting them as I was walking and the doctor was looking on.

During the test, the treadmill raises in incline and speeds up every three minutes. When it got to a certain speed, it was easier to run than walk, although I haven’t run hills in a long time, so it was not easy. After several minutes, the doctor said they had what they needed, so I could stop if I wanted. As soon as I stopped, I was rushed back into bed so they could do another echo while my heart rate was high. The difficult part about that was that I was breathing heavily, and she kept telling me to hold my breath. Impossible. She finished the echo, and we waited for my heartrate to return to normal, and then we were finished. The test was really more embarrassing than difficult. The techs and doctor were great and tried to make it as comfortable as possible, but it’s a bit difficult to be comfortable in that position.

The results. Many of my markings fell in the normal range, but there is some blockage. My cardiologist’s nurse called the next morning, and I have to see him for a follow-in in two months rather than the six he originally anticipated, and I have to start a new medication. It is similar to nitroglycerin that heart patients carry in case they have chest pain, but it’s a daily medication. The nurse said that for the first ten days, I need to take Tylenol with it because it will cause headaches until I get used to it. I read that the headaches mean it is doing its job. We leave on vacation tomorrow, so I am going to wait until we get back to start it. I don’t want to be miserable (and therefore make Gary miserable) while we are away. While I am not thrilled to be on another medication (that’s five daily pills), it’s better than having to have stents. Or having a heart attack.

I cannot stress enough that if you have any risk factors for heart disease, be proactive. Get the Cardiac CT Calcium Scan. It’s $50 at OMHS. My EKG has always been good; my blood pressure is typically excellent; and I am active. Sometimes those things make no difference.

According to Healthline, heart disease is the leading cause of death in women, and responsible for one of four female deaths per year. If you have concerns, make sure you see a provider who takes you seriously. It is nothing to mess with.