“It’s never or now.” I was just doing my strength workout in the basement, and I had The Gilmore Girls newest season on. This was a quote that Lorelei said when she made the decision to go off on an adventure that was completely out of her comfort zone. We have always heard it said, “It’s now or never,” but I like Lorelei’s version much better. Ending the statement with NOW just gives it a more positive take. Now is the time to take action. Now is the time to go for whatever goals you have. Now.

I have always had goals and aspirations. Even at 59 years old, I still have much I want to accomplish. In January, I started using my Tik Tok account. A friend of mine does videos for Tik Tok Shop, and has been receiving a good income from that, so I decided to try it. I was quite uncomfortable making the videos at first, but one thing that comes with age is not really caring what anyone thinks. I have no doubt that there are some folks talking about me and making fun of the videos; that is their issue, not mine. I have a goal to get to 1000 followers so that I can apply to Tik Tok Shop and begin earning money. I still have a long way to go, but I have gotten comfortable making the videos, and now I think about how everyday occurrences can be made into Tik Toks. My students watch my videos and have given me advice. Out of my comfort zone? For sure. Fun? Absolutely! It’s never or now.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love to write. I have blogged on and off for many years; I wrote an ebook about women’s running several years ago; and I self-published a children’s book about dealing with the death of a parent. This year I began writing a memoir. I am close to being finished with it, but have a few more topics to cover. I have found it to be challenging and therapeutic. I often deal with stress or depression by writing, so writing my life story has provided me a great outlet. It has enabled me to revisit both traumatic and joyful times of my life.

The most difficult part of writing my life story has been how to handle writing about people who have hurt me. Living in a small town, I am not comfortable calling people out. I realize that it is unlikely that this will ever be published or anyone will ever read it, but I am still trying to be respectful of others. However, the hurt that I felt shaped who I have become, so those stories need to be told. I am not perfect, and I have also shared mistakes that I have made and hurt that I have caused.

What does this have to do with “It’s never or now?” This past weekend I stepped even further out of my comfort zone, or at least registered to take that step. There is a writer’s conference in Louisville, and I registered to go. I have always looked at these conferences and at retreats, but never had the confidence to sign up. I chose now. I also signed up to meet with an agent, and to have the first ten pages of my book critiqued. That is terrifying. The person could easily say it is terrible and that there is no market for it. My life is boring. At least then I would know, and I still would not regret writing it because my children will have my life story. It’s never or now.

My hope is that my book is relatable to women in my age group. We have faced a lot in life, and have learned many lessons through our trials and our triumphs. I write about losing a parent as a young child, moving from an urban to a rural area, marriage, kids, divorce, remarriage, friendship, aging, losing my mother, and more. I could always self-publish, but I really do not want to. When I self-published the children’s book, I was not happy with how it went. I disliked the illustrations, I thought the editing was sub-par. And it isn’t cheap. I would consider going the ebook route again, but it is not my preference.

Through my story I share the lessons I learned from various people and from life’s challenges. I feel as if society does not value people my age and older. I have known people who have been overlooked for a job simply because of their age. Of course, no business can say that as it would be discriminatory, but I know that is the case. We become irrelevant. I feel like I still have so much to give. I am not ready to sit in my rocker and watch as the world passes me by — except in the summer when I sit in my rocker on the front porch and enjoy a glass of wine!

Imagine wanting to do something so badly, but being afraid. Maybe it’s to apply for a new job, quit your job, ask someone out, or try a new sport. When you are on the edge, say to yourself, “It’s never or NOW!” and Jump!