Grandma Runs!

Just me (hoping my deodorant is working) and Gary (wondering what the heck I’m going to say)

A few weeks ago I received a text from my friend Lagina, who is the executive director of the Perry County Chamber of Commerce, asking me to speak at their upcoming quarterly breakfast. Never having done anything like that, I put her off. I knew it was something I should do, but I had no idea where to begin. And why me? After speaking with my husband, I decided to do it. How can I ask my eighth graders or people in my classes at the gym to step out of their comfort zones if I’m not willing to do the same?

We decided on the topic of setting goals. Okay…I had a topic – now what? After a few days of stressing out, I decided I would write it as a blog, and then somehow turn it into a talk. It wasn’t difficult to write, so this seemed to be the perfect approach. As the date approached, I became more and more nervous. Lagina sent me texts of encouragement; she really seemed to have much more confidence in me than I had in myself.

This morning was the breakfast. I had a stomach ache for the 24 hours prior to the engagement, but still arose before dawn to teach at the gym, and then readied myself for the big event. Thankfully, some of my friends from school were there, along with my husband – always my faithful supporter. Once I started speaking, I was fine. I had six pages of notes, but didn’t even use them. Afterward I realized I had left a lot out, which was probably for the best because it might have been too long (and people might have thrown hard-boiled eggs at me!). Below I pasted the full text.

In the end, I was really glad that Lagina thought enough of me to have me speak. I don’t know that I necessarily inspired anyone, but I did it. And I didn’t throw up, say anything ridiculous, talk in my Northern Indiana speed talk, or embarrass my family or employer. I’d say that’s a successful day. Hold on to your hat…this is really long!

Setting and Achieving Goals

When Lagina asked me to speak, my first thought was what do I have to offer chamber members? Clearly it isn’t business advice; I’ve had one successful business, and one flop. However, I’ve achieved many of the goals I set for myself through determination (sometimes stubbornness) and hard work; the support of others has also played a role in my meeting goals. All I can do is share my experiences, and if that inspires one of you to achieve more, I’ve met my goal for this morning.

My goals can be divided into three categories: professional goals, personal goals, and community goals. I have a lot of little goals throughout the week, such as actually getting all of the laundry finished and put away rather than leaving that one load in the washer until it has to be rewashed, but today we will focus on larger goals.

My professional goals have evolved over the years. I have always been ambitious, and am always thinking about what else I can do – what more I can achieve. As many of you know, I started as a hairdresser many years ago. I tried college, but at that time had no direction or goals, therefore no motivation. I had a lot of fun in that semester, and then it was back home. I decided to go to school to be a hairdresser. Once I had worked for a few years, a friend and I decided to open our own salon, Hair Razors (that’s the successful one). After a few years of owning that business, I decided I wanted more. I wanted a college degree. When I was 32, had three young daughters, and worked full-time, I enrolled at Brescia in the education program. I was terrified. Although it had been years since I’d been in the classroom, it didn’t take long to realize that I loved learning. I graduated with honors, and began teaching, first at the prison, and then at Wm. Tell. I have since earned a master’s degree, and extended my license so that I can teach English at any level. Three years ago I moved from the elementary school to Tell City Jr. Sr. High School. I am so honored to work in a corporation that that has set goals to maintain high standards while at the same time nurturing our students. It’s a thrill to work at the school from which I graduated. It took many steps and many smaller goals to get here, but meeting each of those goals brought another level of satisfaction. Next on my agenda – I am currently enrolled in a real estate course, and have set a goal of earning my license by the beginning of 2016.

I have had failures along the way. Remember the Magnolia Tree? That was a great idea, but we didn’t have the time or money to keep sinking into it until it became profitable. I have some regrets about opening a gift shop, but I also remember Dr. Rudolph telling me (probably while she had her fingers in my mouth) it wasn’t a failure because between Hair Razors and the Magnolia Tree, we had been instrumental in developing that corner of 12th Street. She helped me see the positive in failing to meet that goal.

Setting personal goals makes my life so much more rewarding. Honestly, I can’t imagine not having something I am working toward. A few years ago, Gary and I realized how out of shape we were. Our evenings consisted of sitting on the couch watching Law and Order, and our diet consisted of anything that tasted good. Although we weren’t overweight by today’s standards, we certainly were not in good shape, and the simplest of activities left us out of breath. We talked for several months about making changes, but change is difficult. And what if we failed? I couldn’t decide what type of exercise to embark upon because in past years I would get really into something, and then just quit. I was working, raising kids, and going to school; I obviously had no time. As I was trying to make my decision, Gary began to run. It was winter; he is 16 years older than I am; and he has an artificial knee. Why the heck did he have to choose running? If he could do it, I had no valid excuse to not try. I wasn’t very happy with him. But we ran. At ages 42 and 58, we decided to become runners. We ran on our gravel road because it was secluded and we certainly didn’t want anyone to see us huffing and puffing down the road. We then set goals to run the 2-mile Schweizer Fest run. That goal seemed insurmountable! Two miles seemed like a marathon to us.

To meet that first goal, we set smaller goals. Gary worked to run to one more telephone pole with each run. We both worked toward being able to run one mile, which we could do on our road. Once we’d reached that goal, we began to run in town. That’s really intimidating for a new runner, especially when we see the likes of Tony Hollinden and Eric Kehl out running, and they’re just chatting away while we’re trying not to pass out. I ended up meeting my two-mile goal early, so I decided to sign up for a 5K, and then another. At this point in my running, I hated it. My legs ached that entire summer, and running in the heat was pure torture. But I didn’t stop. I had such an immense feeling of accomplishment each time I completed a run, that I soon craved more. My goals became to run further distances and to get faster. In the past six years, I’ve run lots of 5Ks, a few 10Ks, and seven half marathons (that’s 13.1 miles!). With each race I’ve set goals; sometimes that involved time, and sometimes it was just to get it over with. Have I always met my race goals? No, but I never stopped trying. I am so thankful to have the support of my husband and our five kids. Without it, I’d have stopped a long time ago.

Sometimes our goals are out of our control. While I have the drive to run more half marathons, I don’t know that my knees will allow me to. I’ve already had surgery, and am still not where I’d like to be. And so I must adjust those goals. I won’t throw in the towel; I might just have to set aside my ego and walk during longer races. That won’t be easy; I’m slightly competitive. The point of all of this is that setting goals gives me incentive to train. It gives me motivation to get up every morning. When I don’t have something I’m working toward, I tend to slack off in everything.

My next personal goal is to complete the St. Jude Half Marathon in December. This race is not about times, or even running the whole race. My friends and I are participating with and for our friend Katie Weyer, a St. Jude survivor. Our goal is to support and love Katie, and to raise a lot of money for St. Jude. Sometimes personal goals aren’t about ourselves at all.

My final category of goals is community goals. That means something different to each of us. I hate meetings, so I am not one to join clubs or organizations. I’ve been in Tri Kappa and the Optimist Club, and I’ve gone through Leadership Perry County, but between my work obligations, teaching at Everbody’s, and taking a class, I have no time to sit in meetings. I’m far too antsy for that. So, how do I contribute to Perry County? This year it has been through Mary Poppins. As soon as I heard that there would once again be a Schweizer Fest Musical, and that it would be Mary Poppins, I was hooked. I set a goal to be in the show, as did our daughter Addison. To my husband’s dismay, that also meant he would be in the show. As it turned out, he – who had major reservations about making such a huge commitment – got a lead role, while I – who was so excited to spend my summer singing and dancing – got the role of a statue. (New goal – workout a lot so I could wear a unitard on stage in front of a couple thousand people). I actually had four roles, two of which involved some pretty difficult dancing. I worked my tail off all summer learning to tap dance and how to spell SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS, and do the hand motions. My goal was to not look foolish on stage. Ironically, I get the most compliments on my ability to stand still for five minutes, not my dancing that I had worked so diligently on.

This group – this amazing group – came together this summer to bring our community a fantastic show. We literally laughed together, sweated together, cried together, and practiced together to make Mary Poppins come to life. Without commitment to our goals, teamwork, and countless hours spent together, we would not have pulled it off. We practiced as an ensemble five nights a week for three to four hours. Besides that time, many of us met throughout the day or before regular rehearsal to work together on particular scenes. The teamwork was incredible.

It wasn’t just those you saw on stage who went above and beyond; it was also the set construction crew, the make-up, hair and wardrobe group, the ticket sellers, the donors, the director, and numerous others. I have never been associated with a better group of people. We came together as friends and acquaintances, and left as family, which meant we had a hard time leaving. When a group of people puts that much time and that much heart into a project, and then sees their goals met and appreciated by our community, it’s difficult to let go. This was evident in the weeks following the musical as we still stay in touch daily through Facebook, and look for reasons to get together.

And we aren’t finished. Our next community goal is to keep the momentum going, promote the arts in our area, and to that end, form a theater group. As a team, we will continue to set goals and do our part for the betterment of our community.

My challenge to each of you is to set some goals. Set a professional goal. It might be to generate more business, learn to use social media for marketing purposes, learn more about your field, or to find a way to enhance our community through your business. Set a personal goal; it can be to get in shape, eat healthier foods, spend more time with those you love, or to take time for yourself without feeling guilty. And set a community goal. We all have different gifts. Not everyone is cut out for committees and clubs, but you can spend time with a child who has no role models; you can spread the joy of music; or you can visit an elderly person who can no longer get out. Maybe you do prefer to use your skills on a board or committee. Choose one that you feel passionate about. Once you’ve set your goals, come up with a plan. What steps will you take to attain them? Who will you need on your team? If we all set professional, personal, and community goals, think what a wonderful home we will create for future generations.

Step In Time

As my friends and family know, my family’s summer was consumed by “Mary Poppins”. In April, Gary, Addie, and I all decided to participate in the Schweizer Fest production, knowing that there’d be little time for anything else; we weren’t disappointed. For those of you who don’t really know what it means to commit to the summer musical, I thought I’d fill you in.

Despite Gary’s reluctance to try out, he landed the role of George Banks, which was a big one. When the musical was first announced, the girls and I just knew he’d make the perfect Mr. Banks, and boy were we right! From the moment Gary received his script, he studied. Any spare moment was spent memorizing the multitude of lines and the songs. He put his heart and soul into that role, and as many can attest, it showed on stage this past weekend. He was fabulous!

Addie and I were in all the same scenes in a variety of roles. We had music to memorize and dances (including tap) to learn. The choreography for this show was pretty tough for amateurs, so we spent lots of time at home practicing, and meeting friends so we could get some extra practice time in. Anytime I was alone in my car, I had my music on and practiced the songs.

In June we had rehearsals four nights a week for about three hours a night. In July we stepped it up to five nights a week, and a minimum of three hours (usually more like four). The final fifteen-day stretch, we had one day off. While many of our cast members worked during the day, I was fortunate to be off. I spent much of that time helping with tickets, writing the programs, organizing the ushers, and working on some other behind-the-scenes tasks.

I tell you this because I want you to know the time that is spent putting on a production of this magnitude. My time doesn’t even compare to the lead actors, set construction crew, artistic director, technical director, music director, or the head honcho, Tammy. But do you know what’s really neat about it? We all loved (almost) every minute of it. I never dreaded going to practice because I grew to love my fellow cast members and we enjoyed our time together. Even after a difficult rehearsal, I was ready to go back and try it again the next night. We laughed together, cried together, and helped one another. We teased, encouraged, and supported. We became family.

One moment that stands out was a ‘Coby’ moment (Coby played Michael Banks). The cast was standing in a circle before a performance preparing for our prayer, and Coby had something to say. This 13 year old boy said that he wanted us all to know that he loved us, and that this had been the best summer of his life. There was hardly a dry eye in the room. That’s what it’s all about. Together our cast had several of those beautiful moments, but they are far too special to share.

“Mary Poppins” was an outstanding show! Over 2100 tickets were sold, and in a town of 7292, that’s really impressive – 29% of our population! I realize some family members went more than once, and we had some people from out of town, but it still speaks well for our community. This was the first time we had social media with which to market, and I believe it made a huge difference. After opening night, Facebook blew up with great reviews, which resulted in more sales. We so appreciate the community support. Without it, there might not be a next time, and from what I’ve read, the community would like to see this continue.

And then came the ‘after’. Our final performance was Sunday. I awoke feeling a little down. I knew it would be my last time on stage with this beautiful group of people. It was such a privilege to just stand in a room and sing with such talented people. I love to sing, but don’t have the best voice. Somehow when I sang with the cast, I felt better about my own singing (maybe they were drowning me out!). Even standing in the wings watching my friends perform was an honor. After seeing the same scenes over and over, I still laughed because each time it was so much better. The performers were top-notch. Knowing Sunday we would take our final bows had me on the verge of tears most of the day. At times, those tears overflowed.

I was definitely not the only one. As we prepared for our final curtain call, many were near tears. I’m sure our audience had no idea how difficult it was for many of us to hold it together well enough to sing. As we began to disassemble the set, that had been so carefully constructed, and then beautifully painted by Sam, there was a knot in my stomach. All that work, and within two hours, it was gone. Costumes were boxed up and prepared for shipping; our backstage hangout was returned to a classroom; and the sets became a pile of colorful lumber.

And then came the cast party. One of our cast members, Ashley, compiled a wonderful slide show that showcased our summer’s work. We talked about the memories that were made, the friendships that developed, and about working together again someday. Saying good-bye was awful. As hard as I tried not to cry (again), I couldn’t help myself. As we hugged and promised to stay in touch, many tears flowed. I’ve never seen a group of people – young and not-so-young – have so much trouble saying good-bye. I’ve never witnessed such love among a group that size.

Monday was not much better. I could tell that I was not the only one struggling with separation anxiety the moment I opened Facebook. We have a private page and it was filled with emotional posts stating the we just weren’t ready to be finished. The children and teens weren’t ready to let go of the adults who came to love and care for them. The adults weren’t ready to let go of our kids or each other.

If you ever wondered what it’s like to be part of community theater, know that it is like nothing else. We come together as amateurs – some with a lot of experience and some with absolutely no experience – and we learn and practice and cuss and cry and laugh and complain…and out comes an amazing production. We do it with dedication, hope, and love. Along the way we all grow as individuals. It’s so much more than ‘being in a play’; It’s being part of a theater family. And I truly miss my family.

First, I should update you on my challenge to not drink soft drinks after a life-long love affair with Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Pepsi. I lasted 12 days with no soft drinks. And then I caved. I knew that the first few days would be rough, and that I would have headaches from the lack of caffeine, but even after 12 days, I still felt bad. Had I stuck it out, it might have gotten better, but I have been too busy to feel crappy. I was combining late-night musical practices with early-morning Tabata and HIIT classes, and I was wiped out. Adding a headache to my already worn-out body was not cutting it. The day I caved, I hadn’t planned to have a soft drink. We were at our local Mexican restaurant for our weekly Wednesday teacher lunch, and when our server asked what I WANTED to drink, after a few seconds of hesitation, I said I wanted a Diet Pepsi. It was true – I desperately wanted a diet soft drink. While some of my friends have said that after giving up soft drinks they no longer liked the taste, I loved it. It tasted delicious…that little fizz as it trickled down my throat was a welcome treat.

I think part of the problem with my giving up soft drinks altogether is that I had nothing to substitute with. I hate coffee and tea, and milk and juices have too many calories (and no caffeine). I enjoy a soft drink; I don’t enjoy water. I like water when I am working out, but to sit down to relax and drink a glass of water? Nope. I enjoy wine coolers, but I can’t really drink those daily. I don’t feel that I failed in this experiment. I am now limiting myself to one or two soft drinks a day, and am drinking a lot more water. Having musical practice every night has helped because one shouldn’t drink soft drinks when singing, so I only drink water in the late afternoons and evenings.

Another first this summer: I joined the high school’s corporate challenge team for the Biggest Loser. I have coached teams before, but have never participated. I have had about five to seven pounds that I’ve wanted to lose since the beginning of the year, but have had no success. Because I have to wear a unitard – a SILVER unitard – in the musical, I have incentive to get rid of my gut. Since I am only five feet tall, five pounds makes a big difference. I gain weight only in my gut, so picture five pounds of ground beef pasted to my middle; it is not attractive!  Picture that ground beef in shiny silver spandex, and it’s just gross. The week before our initial weigh-in my family went on vacation. Typically, I gain weight on vacation, but I was determined to control myself this time. I ended up losing three pounds (after not being able to lose a pound all summer). While that’s great, I’d rather have lost it during the corporate challenge so it would help my team. My youngest daughter started Paleo this week. She has done it before, and it gives her a good jump start on losing weight. She bought her own groceries, so there are a lot of foods in our frig marked ‘NO’ – we are not to touch her food. I don’t have that kind of discipline to give up bread and sweets (or the candy that’s backstage when we’re rehearsing).

Running has been a huge challenge this summer. I am not training for anything, which is what usually keeps me motivated. Last summer Gary and I ran several 5Ks, so I worked on my speed all summer, and was actually pretty fast by the end of the summer. This summer I suck. Every run has become a run/walk; the heat has just kicked my butt. This morning I ran 2.3 miles with no walking, and it was under a 10:00 pace, so that was a great run (it used to be a warm-up). It’s frustrating, but I hope to improve once the musical is over.

In the next 14 days, I have one day with no musical practice or performance. Today we begin getting my daughter’s first classroom ready for the new school year, and this week we need to really begin to get my youngest daughter ready to move to college. And there’s my classroom to spruce up, and I am taking a class that is much harder than I anticipated. Next week my oldest daughter and her boys will arrive, and we are hopeful that Gary’s son and his wife will be here. With all of this excitement, do you see why I need Diet Pepsi? Though we are crazy busy, I wouldn’t trade it. My life is filled with beautiful people whom I enjoy spending time with; I am physically able to exercise and to perform; our kids are all doing well and meeting their goals; and we have jobs that allow us to help others.

Do something healthy today. We all spend too much time looking forward: we can’t wait for the weekend, for fall, for football season, for Christmas, for spring, for summer break, etc, etc. We only have today. Don’t let it pass you by without making someone else’s day a little brighter, or without letting your family and friends know that you value them. Value yourself. Take a moment to appreciate who you are.

Peace and Love…