Homosexuality Isn’t Contagious…

…I really want to add an expletive, but that just wouldn’t be right, would it? I have encountered a couple instances of plain old ignorance in the past week, and that, of course, prompted this blog. As the mother of three daughters, I have always prided myself on staying out of their fights. I was not a mom who got in the middle of their drama, and I didn’t call other moms complaining that their girls were picking on my babies. I have seen lots of girls make up the next day, while the parents continue to bash one another. That isn’t pretty. I also know that many times (most times?) my daughters probably had some part in whatever was going on. Even when I saw the hateful messages sent by the mean girls, I refrained (as hard as it was) from getting involved. Consequently, my girls can take care of themselves.

And here comes the however…when adults are hateful, it pisses me off. Ignorance? Well, there is just no excuse for it. So, without using names, I will just put them in my blog, and perhaps they will read it, and realize how ridiculous their words were.

The first incident was last week on – get this – Facebook. A person from the church we attend posted the following:

Here’s my two cents worth on this gay football player getting all this attention. I heard a preacher many years ago say that God made ADAM AND EVE NOT Adam and Steve. We just celebrated Mother’s Day. If this stupidity continues somewhere down the line we won’t have Mother’s day. Come on people WAKE UP!!!

First of all, I am really sick of the whole ‘Adam and Steve’ thing. Grow up. But then there is the ignorant part: Seriously? Everyone is going to DECIDE to be gay, so we won’t have any more kids, hence no more Mother’s Day? That’s ignorance at its finest. I tried to reply as respectfully as my ticked-off brain would allow. I told him that homosexuality is NOT a choice, and that because I have a daughter who is gay, I am offended by his post. And then, another church-goer replied:

 Let UM HAVE IT GARY. HOPE IT,S NOT TOO LATE.

(I won’t even touch the errors). And people wonder why so many people don’t attend church? Thankfully, we have an awesome church, and this is not the norm. I considered not returning because I will not go anyplace where my daughter is not welcome, but after some online conversations with my minister, I knew that wasn’t the answer. I went to church yesterday, and I worked really hard to think nice thoughts, after all, God knows what I am thinking!

I got through that, and only lost one night’s sleep. Then last night hit. My daughter came home, seemed a little down, and headed upstairs. After a short time, I received a text from her (What? Don’t you text from another room – especially another level – to avoid all that walking?). One of her best friend’s mothers decided that her daughter could no longer be friends with my daughter because…yes, you guessed it…she doesn’t want her daughter to be GAY!  Are you kidding me? It’s contagious? Really? I went upstairs to console my now-sobbing daughter. Hearing her say, “Mom, I’m not a bad person,” was heart-breaking. No, she isn’t a bad person. In fact, she is one of the best people I know. She is kind, intelligent, athletic, responsible, and beautiful. She is everything I could ask for in a child. She has never been in trouble; she doesn’t touch drugs or alcohol; she is going to serve as president of the National Honor Society; and students and staff respect her. Addison is in every leadership group she can be; she’s an awesome golfer; she is in the top 10 in her class. But because she happens to be gay, a parent won’t let her daughter hang out with her? I want to smack that mother. I am not a violent person (at my size, that would just get me in trouble), but this ignorant woman broke my daughter’s heart and made her question her worth. How dare she. I suspect it might not be so much that she doesn’t want her daughter to ‘catch gay’, but that she is worried what others might think. If she hangs around a gay friend, she must also be gay. Right? This mother is likely more concerned with her own image than with doing what’s right.

I wish people would realize that sexuality is only one part of who we are. There is so much more to a person than whom he or she is attracted to. My daughter is a wonderful friend. She would give her last dime to help someone. She is fun to be around, and so compassionate. She is an excellent listener, and can provide common sense when needed. Certainly, she isn’t out trying to convert heterosexuals to the other side. I told her that when she goes to college, things will be better. When she gets out of this small town, she will be more accepted for who she is. The thing is, for the most part the kids at school have been awesome. It’s some of the adults who are judgmental and small-minded.

What’s the answer? We have to educate people. We, and by that I mean YOU, have to stand up for acceptance. Homosexuality is NOT a choice. Gay teens deserve the same kindness, respect, and friendship as every other kid. People need to quit throwing the Bible at the gay community, especially when they choose to focus on only what doesn’t affect them. In the Bible it says the following are sinful:  divorce, using the Lord’s name in vain, cutting one’s hair, wearing make-up, over-indulgence of food or drink, gambling….you get the point. So why do some people pick out only the verses on homosexuality? Why do they have the right to force their interpretation on me? The overall message of the Bible is to love one another. That’s it. We aren’t called to judge or condemn; we are only called to love.

I’ve said this before, but if you are curious about the whole Bible/Homosexuality debate, there is a book called ‘Torn’ by Justin (Somebody) on Amazon that is fabulous. If you want to help kids like Addison, please share this blog. My daughter is not contagious.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cindy Donovan
    May 19, 2014 @ 22:40:29

    That’s right. You are who you are from the moment you are born . Homosexuality is not contagious. People need realize that!

    Reply

  2. Kyle Boyer-Hanks
    May 19, 2014 @ 23:29:30

    What a great post. First, let me start off by reiterating the fact that Addie is a GREAT person. And that she has a huge heart and a great personality.

    But second, it’s EXTREMELY disheartening to see and hear “Christians” condemn gays, bisexuals, pans, etc. It’s sad that anymore I refrain from saying I’m religious. I always say I am spiritual. Because religion turns people away and religion won’t do a thing for you. My faith and love to God is strictly my business, but I am not ashamed to openly say that as a Christian, I try to accept and love everyone just as Jesus’ unconditional love pours out for me. I applaud you for taking such a controversial stand and trying to teach Jesus’ message: to love everyone and to follow God.

    God bless.

    Reply

  3. Susan Kramer
    May 20, 2014 @ 11:49:56

    Joyce you are so insightful just too bad everyone can’t take a page out of your book(blog). I am so sorry for your pain and Addison’s but even feel worse for those people who are so plain dumb.
    This is Susan Kramer writing under Lois’ name since she showed me this blog

    Reply

  4. lakensmomma
    May 21, 2014 @ 11:05:56

    I cant love this blog post any more than I do!!! There is NOTHING wrong with Addison! And to add to your Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve nonsense (because it IS nonsense) If I hear love the sinner hate the sin ONE MORE TIME my head may explode! So should I love that person and hate that they eat shrimp, or got a divorce? No we accept these blatant disregard for what the Bible says but pick one line out of Leviticus (which by the way NOBODY follows) and use it to justify being a-holes. Studies have shown that there are at least 1500 animal species that have homosexuals. So theoretically speaking there were gays on the Ark. IJS!

    Reply

  5. Peggy Palmer
    May 21, 2014 @ 17:28:37

    I have a son who is gay. He is the first person in his group of friends to stand up for the underdog. He also is a compassionate person. He has suffered depression because he has had a difficult time accepting and liking himself. When people have made comments about gay being a choose, I ask them. Why would someone chose to be hated, humiliated and in some cases beaten if they had a choose. We love our son, this would not be our choose for him but you can’t change how they are made you accept and love them.

    Reply

  6. Bob Sprinkle
    May 21, 2014 @ 22:19:20

    I admire the way you responded to these individuals in your blog. You showed great restraint and intelligence by remaining calm even though you were emotionally upset. Addison sounds like an intelligent and caring young lady. I can tell by your comments you are extremely proud of her (as you should be). Addison is fortunate to have your love and support as she experiments and discovers who she is. I really feel sorry for the LGBT kids out there whose families abandon them when they are vulnerable and need them the most. After 200,000 years of evolution, our species sometimes falls short in the area of tolerance and diversity appreciation. I am not sure there is any amount of reasoning or discussion that can enlighten a person who believes homosexuality is contagious, but we must keep trying to educate people as best we can. I am amazed how some people feel their religion is justification for discriminating against a group of citizens who only want the basic human rights the rest of us take for granted. The world’s religions should be taking the lead on acceptance of all people as well as denouncing intolerance. I hope Addison will see these changes take place in our society in her lifetime (I believe she will!)

    Reply

  7. Grampa
    May 23, 2014 @ 15:43:36

    Joyce and Addison

    I am so sorry for your pain.

    It isn’t like Addison is an axe murderer or a bank robber.

    She’s just a sweet, warm, loving child who loves her friends

    and needs our love in return.

    In years past it we thought it a disgrace that a girl gave birth out of wedlock

    or that a young couple ‘had to get married’. Somehow we grew to accept

    single parents as a norm in our society. I pray that one day we will accept

    gays also.

    Addie…I don’t know you but I love you.

    Stay strong.

    Grampa

    Reply

  8. Peggy Newton
    Jun 02, 2014 @ 09:20:28

    Your blog was very well written.It is amazing how people that brag on their faith are so blind in their actions, I wonder how these people can make it in the real world.I have seen so many people hurt by a thoughtless comment on something they have not a clue. You and Addie stay strong-there are more people that think like us than them. God bless

    Reply

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