I am damn near 60. I hear myself saying these words in my head pretty regularly, especially when I see girls in cute outfits at school and wonder if I could wear them! I am damn near 60. I will be 59 in January, and just cannot believe that I am close to retirement age. Mentally and emotionally, I don’t feel any different – maybe a bit wiser and less likely to tolerate drama or hatefulness – but here I am. Physically, some days I feel like I am still in my 40s, and others I feel the pull of the grave.

I haven’t written about fitness for quite some time, and since that was the original intent of this blog, I thought I would update where I am on this never-ending journey toward being healthy and fit. Let’s begin with weight. I feel like I need to apologize to the women I coached in Biggest Loser. I was in my 40s when I coached, not yet introduced to menopause. Holy shit. When it hits, it is brutal. I truly had no idea; I thought that in my 50s I could just do the same things I did in my 40s: eat sensibly, run, still drink wine. I was able to maintain my weight pretty easily at that time, so I thought women older than I could use the same system. Nope.

I hit 50. The weight started slowly, but then a couple years ago, I found myself up 20 pounds. I am five feet tall. No inches, just five feet. I was unhappy and grouchy, but couldn’t seem to get the weight off despite not eating terrible and exercising at least five days a week. I finally realized I couldn’t do it on my own, so I joined Weight Watchers – and it worked! I lost the weight and finally felt good about myself again. And then I increased my points because I had reached my goal, and over the course of the last school year, I gained most of the weight back. By mid-summer of this year, I was back where I began. And I was very unhappy.

For me it is not just a matter of looks; it is also a matter of health. Having heart disease, it is critical that I maintain a healthy weight. If I start gaining, I can’t stop, and soon my husband would be able to roll me out the door. I also want to be strong and maintain muscle and bone health. I have read so much about the importance of strength training as we age, so although I much prefer cardio, I know that I also need to be able to strength train. I had not been running as much because, if I am being honest, walking is just easier. Add 20 pounds to your body, and running is far more difficult. Who needs a weighted vest?

I had finally had enough. Last spring, I went to a nurse practitioner who works on weight loss. I tried a couple meds, including a GLP, but they did nothing. Since I was paying out-of-pocket, I decided to try again on my own. I dropped WW, but got the Lose It app and tracked calories. It has worked, extremely slowly, but it is working. I am hopeful that by losing slowly, I will be able to maintain this time. I am finally realizing that I will never be able to eat like I used to. I have also cut back on alcohol. Not that I had an issue, but I do enjoy wine. I am sticking to once a week, and I think it has helped. Instead of a glass of wine after a particularly tough day, I go for a walk or run.

Working out…I have not had a problem with working out in 16 years. I enjoy it. I also need it for my mental health as much as for my physical health. There are days when I might prefer sitting in my recliner and watching Netflix, but I can generally make myself move. I am running more, and trying to increase my mileage, but that is also slow-going. I was trying to do strength training, but felt like I was all over the place, and I definitely wasn’t consistent. I would also like to swim more, but I say that all the time, and then I don’t do it. We have a swim spa (in theory that sounds great, in reality, it hardly gets used), so I have no excuse. However, if you have never used one, just know there are jets that blow on you so you can swim in place, and that water is constantly in your face, and it’s hard. There are some nice seats at one end, so its a great place to sit and have a glass of wine or two. That I can do!

When we were in Florida, we went to dinner with my cousin and his daughters. His daughter, Sophie, is in college for nutrition and some type of fitness degree, and she owns a martial arts gym. She is also crazy buff! I ended up asking her to be my personal trainer, so she found an app to use, and sends me strength workouts. She can see any time I workout, so I am accountable to her. It has been fantastic, and I already feel stronger. The workouts are challenging, but attainable.

I have always lived my life by setting goals, but right now, I am not certain what my specific goals are. Maybe just not to drop dead of a heart attack on the side of the road? I can fit back in some clothes that were too snug this summer, which is reassuring. I would like to lose about five more pounds, which is not where I was in my 40s, but I think it is reasonable for this season of my life. I would love to run one more half marathon (specifically a Disney race), but I am not sure my knee can handle that. I plan to just keep on increasing distance and seeing how it goes. I do know this: I am not giving up. This nana wants to continue to run with her grandkids for many years to come. So, that’s it. That is where I am today; hopefully next time I write about it, I will be a little stronger.